i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
