Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
