Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
