WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
