Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
