There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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