ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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