Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
