i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
