I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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