this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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