The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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