so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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