Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
