Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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