Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
