we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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