Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize