Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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