I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
