Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
