i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
