I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
