I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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