I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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