He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The uberlube is also flammable
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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