therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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