You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
