He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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