i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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