My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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