Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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