but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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