Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize