one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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