apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I AM VODKA MAN
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
