i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
