I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
