New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
