im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
