You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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