the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
