guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
