i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
