i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
