this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
