how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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