Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
