The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize