Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
