Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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