I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
