My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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