He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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