Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
