Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
