no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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