You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
