We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think my vagina is haunted
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
