Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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