its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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